will.u.be.with.me

[[Wednesday, September 13, 2006]]
nabei

ok i guess i need some serious action about something now.i guess i jus need to slap myself from doing something. i mean seriously im getting too sensative lately then i think i should be like last time when i dont give a fark about what others said.im realli drifiting away from the teachings of sji now.

everyone is changing, even those who i put my regard as friend. maybe its me wwho is changing and that its my definition of friend changing.what should i do ?

someone tell me pls.i think im seriously some failure product in the world and that i think im so different from others that i think most people simply dislike me for being different.but i gueess that i should just accept this fact and maybe i should jus walk away from the society and be isolated.

on another note, i guess i have been in isolation for a long time because i dunno how to mix around with others.the only pal i can truly say i have is some of those back in singapore.i dont have a realli decent friend here.maybe 1 or 2 but i guess i dont realli regard them as one.im sry but i think im jus too afraid to take more friends now.i have come to realise that who the hell would want to make friend with me except for those realli decent people.i dunno.so its becoming so stupid.i shall leave the world for the good of others as well as for myself.theres a gd saying that goes like to you one might be the world but to others, you might be the world.i find it quite ridiculous to use it on me.i mean to me i guess the onli persons that take me as their world r my parents esp my mom.i wonder who else will.maybe i should be just be definite and say that noone actually does.ahh i guess thats the way.

i guess thats the way of life and its better to realise it now than to realise it later.i got to change my concept that not everyone in the society goes thru the sji style of system and that i should not treat them the same way i treat others.what i mean is that i should take caution towards everyone and that isolate myself from them.

the next thing is that i guess im seriously dumb in doing things that r not worthwhile at all just because i have a small and tiny expectation out of it. and all the hopes given me are like drugs. once one have hope, u might die from it once it is taken away from you.

maybe i should just keep quiet about everything and let everything go without me giving my advice and evertyhing.i shall be another isolated body away from the society since it is not within my ability that i can change the world

16 days counting down to liberation here.

william.lee.wei.yang
9/13/2006 02:12:00 pm

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