it happens to me that some ppl still cannot get rid of the SJI thing.haha. i guess the guy should just move on with life. keep the memories and our idealogy but change with the environment to suit it. sji is a past tense now but it will always be a present tense in our hearts
8/14/2007 11:58:00 pm
又是一个学期过去了,这几天忙着考试，做Assignment。忙得我快透支了。当然,又有很多让人很不爽的事发生,不过没关系，这就如我们的考验。我相信我们一定能一同心连心,通过考试。 我有很多时候想跟你说对不起可是有放不下我的固执,我对你的幼稚的爱 我还以为我自己成长了,变得更大方,更成熟了。不过想不到我自己还是小孩一个。怎么说呢？我有时候还是不能控制自己的情绪,不过我还是会嬉皮笑脸的对待你。这算是哪门子的真心相对。可是想到你生气的样子我宁愿自己把气埋在心里。可是我知道这样一直下去不是办法,迟早会有事情会发生的。不过现阶段我也不知道该怎么办,所以只能维持原状。有时候我真的无法接受你的一些想法和所作所为。我试着接受可是我也有我自己坚持的想法,无论和不和你意。有时候想想我为了你能付出这么多却有时候被你骂,心里真的是他妈的不爽。能做到不求回报的爱还真是困难。 叔叔和hittie姐姐订婚了。心里看了又一点羡慕,能和心爱的人许下这个人生的承诺是多么美好的事。看着姐姐却会想到了我们一起住的时候,有谁能想象会和一个半年前才认识的人结婚。这就是缘吧,我们是不是有缘呢？但愿如此。如果我们无缘我希望老天能给我们创造机会。再说,我无法想象回去前那个提倡大女人主义的姐姐会是现在今天对叔叔服服帖帖的未婚妻。我估计什么人都没想到吧。人家都说婚姻是爱情的坟墓,但愿我和你结婚的日子就在不久的将来。 愿世上有情人终成眷属,可是为什么就是有很多人要成为鸳鸯之间的那个祸害。这种人真是讨厌。这种人好去死了。 不知道,我自己明明很感谢爸爸给我的一切,可是为什么我却会一点都不想念他呢？有时候很羡慕有家庭生活的人们,有时候想想自己一个人也很好啊,为什么一定要人陪？自从很久以前有这种想法以后就不怎么黏人了,学校里的朋友,外面的朋友也一大堆可是就是没几个真的很喜欢的。好朋友就不用说了,基本上用五指手指也嫌太多了。后来检讨了一下,听了妈妈的话,”朋友不用很多,好朋友有几个就好了” 少了校外的朋友我发现自己跟班上的朋友真的好了很多。什么兄弟,上刀山下油锅的我倒是头一次体会到。第一次体会到好朋友的重要。来了这里以后我真的体会到了人生的残忍和现实。朋友不在旁边做什么好像都不对,少了一起行动的那一种快感。果然,当一个人失去了重要的东西的时候才会发现一个东西的重要。那个时候的我觉得自己很珍惜好朋友了,可是到头来才发现原来其实我很对他们再好一点的。 希望能在六月份回家之前交到很多很多的外国人同学。同时跟你一起度过更多快乐的时光。 P.S 很厌恶自己爱踩油门,开快车的习惯但是更厌恶警察伯伯寄来的罚单 P.S P.S 也很厌恶自己每天都在向我到底有没有达到你那个既简单又困难的男朋友标准
5/09/2007 10:20:00 pm
has been a while since i last update
life has been fine these days.
cant be better i should say
for those of you who know what im saying
good for u
was sitting on the car and have some thoughts
jus less than 15 month ago i was still in SJI
the innocent boy i am,in singapore
now im still quite innocent,haha,
but im in a totally different place
the culture of these 2 places
the friends i have both here and there
are quite different.no.very different
it is quite hard for me to adjust from my old self
to suit the lifestyle here
nevertheless, i got to do it.
life has not been so hectic lately
ever since last yr, my life has been revolving around
and more anime
and tonnes of hmwk b4 due date
its getting better
theres this mount ainslie here
where i can overlook the whole of Canberra
its realli nice.
try to image a city full of lights is just below you
and starss and moon are just above you,
and its even better when your love one is with you
im still unsure if this is the life i want.
but 1 thing that i can be sure of is that
im happy (:
to those ppl working hard for their As
and to those ppl no working hard
"good luck" too
4/11/2007 09:31:00 am
Caught “Pursuit of Happyness” at the new Canberra Centre just now and it was really boring although it sets a lot of thoughts for me about how realistic the world is. Will Smith acted as Chris Gardner, a struggling salesman in San Francisco during the early 1980s who sells luxury medical equipment that most doctors and hospitals have deemed unnecessary. When his wife (Thandie Newton) decides to leave after several years of living just above the poverty line – giving Christopher custody of their five-year-old son, Chris (played by real-life son, Jaden Smith) – he applies for an internship at a major stockbroker firm in the city. The six-month internship is not just highly competitive (only one of 20 applicants are eventually offered a job), but it’s also unpaid. Of course, Christopher has a plan, but everything that can go wrong does, including losing their apartment and being forced to live in the public toilets. Although this might be a really sucky movie for those excitement seekers out there but it surely reflects on the reality. Gardner's fight is everyman's fight... to remain true to his material objectives without sacrificing that which really matters to him-- his trusting little shadow (his son if u haven’t get it). I definitely should learn from him to pursuit for my materialistic needs whilst devoting my energy to what’s most dear to me, be it my family, friends, my children or wife.
2/01/2007 10:56:00 pm
living in the world of lies and deceives realli makes one tired but it is even more saddening to live in a world where i can talk to you but not having a common topic kill me and i dont want to live again
10/05/2006 10:37:00 pm
Dear God I pray now most importantly for jiajia.I pray that she would pass all her subjects with flying colours so that she do not have to worry about the scores again next semester.I also pray that she would not transfer school or to study somewhere else.I really appreciate her presence around me and i hope she would accompany me here in Canberra for the full duration of my university course as well as for the rest of my life. Furthermore, I would like to pray for myself to be strong, to have more courage to face the truth. I need strength God to face all these that is coming to me. I want the strength to study hard in order to get high distinctions and to make everyone proud especially my family, myself and my friends. I need the strength to change myself,my character for her to like me. Grant me the strength and i would be able to achieve everything in the name of You. I pray these in your most Holy name Jesus Christ Amen
9/26/2006 11:20:00 am
one thing to those farkers, fark off.everything in my blog stay here and dont spread it u farkers. i dunno what to say.realli.im once again being disappointed.why am i doin this ? i mean i know i will be so sad n stuff but im keep doing it.jus an illustration.i know if i cut myself i would hurt like mad but im still giving myself many cuts on myself.stupid right.yes im sooo stupid.recently,i really know how brave those people who felt devastated are.im so useless as compared to them. they know how to solve the prob.either bravely face the prob n get on with life or bravely end their own life to ignore the problem. for me, im jus too scared to do either.neither am i brave enough to go n die nor am i brave enough to face the prob and solve it.im always hiding.hiding in the small corner. i realli wanna cry. hey.i tell you.u go and do everything u want alright ? dont come n make me sad.its none of ur business so dont be guilty or wad so ever. let me tell you this.i admit it hurts to tell me the truth.but it hurts even more if i know u were lying to me if u still have some guilty conscious and feel the urgency to lie to me, then please, do it well.
9/21/2006 06:35:00 pm
what is this feeling im having now.i shouldn't be having it now but its really there. can i live without it ? can i live without you ? tell me what to do and i will do it.
9/19/2006 11:15:00 pm
im stuck in a hole where i fell endlessly, on a path of no return but i am happy if i were to have you with me.
9/17/2006 04:39:00 pm
ok i guess i need some serious action about something now.i guess i jus need to slap myself from doing something. i mean seriously im getting too sensative lately then i think i should be like last time when i dont give a fark about what others said.im realli drifiting away from the teachings of sji now. everyone is changing, even those who i put my regard as friend. maybe its me wwho is changing and that its my definition of friend changing.what should i do ? someone tell me pls.i think im seriously some failure product in the world and that i think im so different from others that i think most people simply dislike me for being different.but i gueess that i should just accept this fact and maybe i should jus walk away from the society and be isolated. on another note, i guess i have been in isolation for a long time because i dunno how to mix around with others.the only pal i can truly say i have is some of those back in singapore.i dont have a realli decent friend here.maybe 1 or 2 but i guess i dont realli regard them as one.im sry but i think im jus too afraid to take more friends now.i have come to realise that who the hell would want to make friend with me except for those realli decent people.i dunno.so its becoming so stupid.i shall leave the world for the good of others as well as for myself.theres a gd saying that goes like to you one might be the world but to others, you might be the world.i find it quite ridiculous to use it on me.i mean to me i guess the onli persons that take me as their world r my parents esp my mom.i wonder who else will.maybe i should be just be definite and say that noone actually does.ahh i guess thats the way. i guess thats the way of life and its better to realise it now than to realise it later.i got to change my concept that not everyone in the society goes thru the sji style of system and that i should not treat them the same way i treat others.what i mean is that i should take caution towards everyone and that isolate myself from them. the next thing is that i guess im seriously dumb in doing things that r not worthwhile at all just because i have a small and tiny expectation out of it. and all the hopes given me are like drugs. once one have hope, u might die from it once it is taken away from you. maybe i should just keep quiet about everything and let everything go without me giving my advice and evertyhing.i shall be another isolated body away from the society since it is not within my ability that i can change the world 16 days counting down to liberation here.
9/13/2006 02:12:00 pm
today i did some serious reflection upon myself. i felt that actually im not so good as i think of myself. i realise that im rather unforgiving to certain people, having an instilled bias-ness towards and against certain group people. I realise that sometimes im jus too enthusiastic towards my friend that i actually trust them and tell them some of my lil dark secrets i have or i will just be too eager to help them even at the cost of me spending lots of time and money. most of u might say its a good thing but i tell it is certainly not if that person does not appreciate what u have done. I mean i dont mind doing things for friends like daniel or kelvin and of course ys, amos and christina cos now i know they would be behind me even we are so far apart but some people here in the college are just so unrealiable and not so good-friend like even we r jus so close and sees each other everyday. secondly, i realise that i have place myself too close to my friends. now i know that we should place some barriers between each other and this barrier would open up if u think they are good friends. but i think its either that the barriers i set is too little that i often thinks the other party is my good friend or that i have a wrong definition of good friend.maybe its just too naive to think that most of the people would be nice n stuff lastly i think that i do not know how to protect myself from other's criticism. of course i would take in constructive criticism given by others as i know csuch comments can make me a better person tomorrow but i guess there are just so many people sprouting nonsenses out loud of rather gossip about it with others. value judgement towards others are often wrong and even if they are accurate, it would hurt the other person. below are a list of the people i met since a long time ago that i relli appreciates their presence Chun Yan Suandi Desmond Chengyuan Xingwei Class of 204 Class of 409 Sec4 Batch 2005 Kluang Nic Jaspal Frank Ian Yunus Jessica Cherry Jiajia yupp i dunno but i guess my life would be so much different with them around.it would be worse of course haha.anyhows after this reflection, i guess i should be less enthusiastic towards others, re-defining the term good friend and to put a bigger barrier between me n the others n lastly i should just learn to protect my friend from other's unconstructive criticism
9/04/2006 08:22:00 pm
today its the birthday of our stupid lil boy namely wennan he is just to dumb n listen to all my complains about everything here since the beginning of the year.im realli appreciate it.appreciate ur position as my gd friend but i guess im nothing but just another friend to u right.
9/04/2006 08:39:00 am
THIS BLOG WAS INVADED BY AUNTIE-YC AT 9PM GMT +8 and 7 pm GMT+10 on the 3rd Sept T A N Y I N G C H E R N
9/03/2006 09:20:00 pm
ok.jus when i think its about time that another chapter of my life is going to end, unexpected things happened.so some people realli did read my blogs and spread the content. i shall not be angry or any sort. i just think that people are realli irritating n stuff. ya seriously u people should go fuck yourself. besides this im gonna make this clear, the earlier posts are of my personall feeling that that point of time and some may be still valid but some are not. let me get this straight, its none of ur business if i criticise someone here in my blog. u dont like it u jus read n shut up if u like it read n tag my board. one last thing, since im going to graduate from foundation, i would not get myself pissed any further n just let this thing go
9/03/2006 09:16:00 pm
everything is just wrong after the break.nothing seems to be right.its very disturbing to adapt to a new way of life and its even more disturbing to see a 'friend' to change very fast as in like the way he or she is doing her thing or the way she treats you. the 2nd term for 2nd semester aka the last term,last semester in ANUcollege is here. after this i can go back to Singapore and back to Taiwan. its like the semester has been fine academically of course. Yasser is nice and gave me 80% for the assignment i guess its not realli the kind of mark i should get judging from my effort for it. But i guess i got to thank him here.most prob he want us to get out of Canberra quickly too.haha.Bruce gave us back the test marks.I ran away on that day because i was pissed with someone and I did not wish to attend the lesson. The temptation grew larger when Yasser told ian, sharkie and i about the nice laksa in Dickson from the Asian Noodle house.so i simply skipped the lesson and went ahead to eat my delicious laksa which i longed for. Surprisingly i have got like 2nd highest in class. 23/30. ohwell i guess its just tyco.ha English has nothing much to say.still very boring and stuff.trigo i just had a test like yesterday.i guess its just hard for me since i have not been studying. for some reason i just wish to kept eating since the beginning of this week. I guess its like when u r angry pissed and sad u will tend to eat alot.haix.fark off.im realli very depressed now but having ppl like Yasser and Jaspal here realli brightens my day up.Not forgetting Atsushi, Jessica and Yunus.hahha.they r realli nice people too.Some people to be aware : Dee, Scarlett, Ni, Daisy, Rachel and Ihn Tak.ohwell ohwell i dont think they r gonna see this.wahahha.i dunno but i jus dont like them.EEEEEEEK.ohya.maybe i should get Akil on the list too.hahaha.ohya and the pirate if u know who it is.hahaha. I want to go on tour with my friends. i guess it will be fun to go out together. bleahs.anyhows thats jus my wish.i wanna go on tour with MYCH, Christina Stephanie and of course Yisheng Amos Daniel and Kelvin Koh. The Best Jouney is the one with u accompanying me
8/22/2006 09:21:00 pm
im soooo sad now.im gonna finish all the animes within this week.gosh how am i gonna survive without my anime.
8/11/2006 03:42:00 am
8/09/2006 06:38:00 am
having a sudden urge in talking to lynette.for some reason which i really dunno why.haha.i guess its like wat others said u felt how valuable or how good someone is after u have lost them or if u have part with them.ohwell.i wonder why im doin all these for jiajia. i might use to say which idiot will do so much for an unfruitful attempt in goin after someone that dont even like u to a single bit.now i'll answer my own question - me.
8/06/2006 09:55:00 pm
8/01/2006 09:27:00 pm
wat am i doin.seriously.wat e hell am i doin.didn't i say that i'll give it all up? why am i still comin to study with her when she dont even come n give a word of thanks for all e things i have done.wat the fuck man i hate myself more than anyone else.maybe i should get a brainwash or sth.i dont mind being someone else when everything u want will come true.its really funny.im suppose to be a happy person now isn't it.thats wat i told everyone in e beginnin of this semester.haix nabei la.i promise i'll NOT help her with her work e next time she ask me.like wth man.i hope she really meet with some trouble n make her farkin realise that everyone has been so nice n help her n she better farkin realise that she has been takin ppl at least me for granted n get her attitude right.its really saddenin for such a nice girl like her to be such a bitch.contradictory? i dunno.she has been quite nice but afterall maybe she is jus being nice to get me to be used by her.well.wish her all e bad luck n she will realise abou her gd life n appreciate everything including me.but comin to e basic idea.its my own fault.why do i have to like her n why do i have to do so much for her.why did i spend so much time with her. One last thing.fark it man.really jus fark it.u know wat bitch.if u r readin this.go hell n i hope they teach u how to appreciate everythin n not takin them for granted.
7/31/2006 09:56:00 pm
THE CHAT _____